How Has Therapy Helped With Dissociation?

Alison’s Perspective And Reflections. 

Dissociation and psychosis in relation to my trauma/abuse background had a devastating impact on my life, it was destroying it. Before therapy my mental health and life was totally out of control and chaotic. I was extremely frightened, tormented and confused, I couldn’t understand or comprehend what was happening or why. I’d had various types of therapy before but none of it was trauma informed and because of how the system has worked historically, no one was willing to treat my psychosis and trauma concurrently. It has been ignored by the establishment and been allowed to perpetuate, as a vicious cycle of trauma impacting the psychosis and vice a versa. Therefore people like me have been mismanaged and gone untreated for fear that it would cause severe mental health deterioration and increase the risk of suicide. When in fact I can attest from my own experience, it’s the exact opposite. Tf-CBTp is the first and only therapy that has worked for me and my dissociation and psychosis is gradually improving, because of it. 

How Has It Worked? 

There are two things that were of paramount importance, without which safe and effective therapy would not have been possible: 

A). The bedrock is the strong, collaborative, honest and trusting therapeutic relationship built between myself and Leila. As already discussed. 

B). The foundation was comprehensive Psycho-education and all the techniques I was taught. This helped me to understand, manage and gain some control over my dissociation and psychosis so I was able to do the memory work. As already discussed. 

 

With grit, determination, hard work and application I was able to start unravelling my jumbled, distressing memories that I was continually reliving. It enabled me to put them into some sort of context and methodically file them away in the right order. They were no longer all consuming and debilitating. Consequently my dissociation and psychotic symptoms are beginning to improve. For example I had a really nasty olfactory hallucination, which I learnt was related to the unprocessed distressing memories of the traumatic deaths of my mother and mother-in-law. I used to smell decaying, rotting flesh (decomposition) which affected my ability to taste and eat, I used to feel nauseous around food all the time. Through the psycho-education phase I became aware and was able to recognise I would be triggered and get flashbacks, if I was in the vicinity of a continental grocery store or Halal butchers. It was due to the smell, to counteract this I was able to practise the grounding techniques I’d learnt, to bring me back to reality and the here and now. During the memory phase I was able to reprocess those memories and reach the logical conclusion, and belief that my family members deaths were not as a result of anything I’d done, they were not my fault and I wasn’t to blame. The memories although they are very sad, are exactly where they should be now, they’re in the past. They don’t affect my ability to function or disrupt my life anymore. Since then the hallucination has disappeared and I no longer trigger, or get flashbacks when I’m near continental grocery shops or at a supermarket. I am no longer frightened to go out shopping and I can now enjoy the experience. Also although it may be for some, cooking is no longer a necessary evil, I now enjoy doing it. 

For Those Contemplating Therapy. 

Tf-CBTp has had an incredibly powerful and positive impact on my life, it’s changed immeasurably with the work I’ve been able to do. I would 100% recommend Tf-CBTp to everyone who is living with PTSD with psychosis. To those of you who may be thinking of doing therapy but are scared, I was scared too. But it can’t get any worse whilst you’re alone having an acute exacerbation and experiencing all the devastating symptoms of dissociation and psychosis, unable to manage and control it, can it? Yes there are times when the trauma work is very difficult and distressing, of course there is, but you can pause at any time if it gets too much. There are also times when it gets worse before it gets better, but it does get better! You’ll be supported by an experienced therapist specialising in this area who you can build a collaborative working relationship with, to guide you through it in a safe, controlled manner and environment. You’ll have the foundation of psycho-education to help you understand what’s happening to you and why? And you’ll have the scaffolding of grounding skills and techniques you’ll learn to help you manage and control your symptoms. It’s important to remember you’re not alone, there will be extra support available should you need it. You won’t be left floundering, there are safe guards and there will be a care/crisis plan agreed with you, should you require it at any point. No one will be there to pressure or push you into therapy. It’s entirely your decision and if it’s not for you, you can stop. I would suggest you discuss terminating your therapy with your therapist first though, before you make that decision and stop attending. However you’re under no obligation to continue therapy if you don’t want to. If you decide to go ahead with therapy be aware it does require 100% commitment, determination and hard work. You have to apply yourself, in order to gain the maximum benefit and reward from it. It is possible, there is hope, you can take control and improve your quality of life, I am proof of it!